#1 It is what it is - - Nothing encapsulates fatalism more than this phrase. No attempt to understand, no attempt to change and while you’re at it don’t’ ask me any more questions on this topic and no one else should bother unpicking it either. - - #2 Stay Safe - - This phrase came into its own during the pandemic. Stay safe sounds nice but who was saying stay safe? It wasn’t your friends or family; it was some seemingly innocuous part of an email marketing campaign for what? Yes, for the most dangerous, unnecessary, or wasteful activity during the pandemic. Cruise ship holiday #staysafe, low tar cigarette #staysafe, payday loan #staysafe, spread betting account #staysafe. Insincere at best. - - #3 Do you have an appointment? - - Why is this here. It’s all about context. Its how you get greeted now. It’s just a bit jarring when they know that you don’t have an appointment and there is absolutely no need to have an appointment to receive the service. You go to the restaurant or the hairdressers and you see that the place is absolutely empty and staff are drooping all over the chairs, why else would I be here? Do I need to apply for planning permission to receive a haircut? It’s a form of self-aggrandisement, we must be more important if we are by appointment only and hold your horses not so fast, don’t think you can just waltz in here and receive the service, there are a few steps that you need to go through, we’ll need your email for starters. - - #4 How did we do? - - The afore mentioned hairdressers obtained my email address and off course I later received an email from them requesting feedback, much later, 8 weeks later to be precise; ‘you had a haircut a few weeks ago, how did we do? What do you think of the haircut?’ I reported that it's growing on me. - - #5 The ……. Community - - The …… Community is some minority group. A purported member of the …... community is being interviewed by someone dressed to the nines, and not part of the group, and off course the group have a collective consciousness. ‘What is the feeling of the …... community? - - #6 Read the room - - We used to say own the room, now we need only to read it; take a deep breath, make some observations and adjust your responses or just stay silent. Whilst it pays to be tactful, I’m sure that's possible without the wisdom gained during the "reading of the room". The room is interactive otherwise why are we in the room? and is the agenda not already known? - - #7 Rolling it out - - ‘It’s being rolled out on such and such a date.’ Horrible management speaks. It’s such a passive regarding of self as part of a vast machine for which, one has no understanding of its functionality and takes no responsibility for its actions. When you hear this, you are guaranteed delays and there's going to be a compete screw up, but don’t tell them that you told them so. - - #8 Revert back to you - - Totally unnecessary - - #9 Blue sky thinking - - ‘Let’s put a pin in that and keep on thinking.’ - - #10 Deep dive - - You know you are going to get a mash up of meaningless graphs purporting to support some thinly veiled agenda.